


Like Pale Mauve... Or Something

by sodagum



Category: IDOLiSH7 (Video Game)
Genre: Alternatively: In Which Yamato Thinks In Cheesy Metaphors, Confessions, Crushes, Fluff, Humor, Introspection, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-08
Updated: 2016-02-08
Packaged: 2018-05-19 03:23:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5951902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sodagum/pseuds/sodagum
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Crushes are just so troublesome.</p><p>And quite frankly, Yamato is too old for the nonsense that usually comes with them.</p><p>He’ll tell him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Like Pale Mauve... Or Something

**Author's Note:**

> Hi hello idolish7 is really neat and so is this pairing.
> 
> This is my first fic for the fandom and my first attempt at yamasou aha/o/

He can give off this sort of calming air; it’s something gentle and settled, like the tranquil ambiance after morning rain. The guy’s refreshing, like the ever-so-faint ring of wind chimes in an otherwise quiet air. He’s a nicely arranged lilac bouquet; not intense or overpowering, but mild, noticeable, and just right. That’s why he’s pleasant to be around, really likable, and

Attractive.

That’s just how he appears for the most part: soft and good-natured. However, Yamato’s been around Sougo long enough to know there’s far more to what he gives away. There’s something beneath that exterior he can’t help but to notice, and hasn’t stopped noticing for a while now.

And it’s embarrassing, isn’t it? To be able read into someone so well that you can easily tell apart their outward personally from their true disposition, and be certain of the complexities that dwell within it. 

He tells himself it’s because he can relate. It’s because, when you have someone who confides in you every so often, it only makes sense to know so much about them. It’s not bad, Yamato _should_ know Sougo, he should know him very well. 

But there’s always the possibility of knowing him too well. There’s a line between fond, and really fond, and Yamato is certain he’s gone over it.

As he sits at the kitchen table, elbow bent with chin in palm, thumb circling the pop tab of his beer, he thinks--wonders:

Just when exactly did his subtle interest in Sougo, turn into something akin to infatuation?

He’s been asking himself this for a while now, almost as if the answer will sort of just reveal itself in an attempt to make this easier to take in.

But after considering it, and admittedly fantasizing just a little, he’s come to the conclusion that he’s definitely crushing. _This isn’t bad._ Crushes aren’t a bad thing. Yamato is a grown man, an adult with plenty of experiences, he’s not going to let something as small as what could be deemed as a little bit of puppy love get to him. He’s not childish, he’s not going to spend his time inwardly fawning over Sougo until it becomes obvious to him and everyone around them. No, Yamato is mature, and as a mature person, he’ll act accordingly.

 

He’ll tell him.

Only because it’s the most appropriate thing to do, and because Sougo is an adult too, he’d appreciate skipping over the silly mind games and getting straight to the honesty. That’s something he’d want, so it goes without question this is the best way to handle it.

A mug of something warm is placed right in front of him, pulls him from his thoughts and leaves him confused for a moment. 

He looks up to see Sougo with an offered smile and a mug of his own. It’s then Yamato realizes he’s been given something. He holds up his can with furrowed brows, and with a gentle shake of his wrist he allows the sloshing sounds of the remaining beer inside to speak for him.

Sougo sits.

“Figured you’d want something warm to drink.”

“This is doing the job just fine.”

“It’s hot chocolate,” He tries, “If you want, I can add marshmallows too. They’re the mini kind. Fun, right?”

Yamato wants to scoff at that, because Sougo makes it sound like it’ll be enough to encourage him to accept the drink.

He does--but for a completely different reason. Regardless, Sougo still grins like he’d just won him over. He’s on his feet again, shuffling over to the cabinet to add the newest addition to the treat.

Yamato watches him, pulls his hot chocolate in closer while Sougo stands on socked toes, and stretches in order to reach the top shelf. His annoyance is expressed in a slight grunt and two quick hops before he’s able to snatch the half-bag of marshmallows, and hold them tightly in triumph. 

“Thank you for your offer to help,” He says, “But as you just saw, I handled it pretty well.”

This is funny, because Yamato wouldn’t say he’s one for sarcasm. There’s an exception if it comes from him, but hearing it from the other is more amusing than it should be, he might go as far as to say he’s a little endeared right now.

“Ah, my bad--you had a good reach-and-grab method going on there, didn’t want to break your concentration.”

“Mmh.”

He smirks, and Sougo says nothing more as he leans over to drop the marshmallow in his hot chocolate one by one. 

There are many things Yamato can comment on in this moment, like how close he is, and how he probably isn’t aware that this potentially treads the lines of coddling or doting. 

Maybe those aren't the right words--maybe he’s trying too hard to create a scene that isn't really there.

He could be over-analyzing things, because Sougo is always kind and attentive, to mistake this for anything other than him just trying to be nice, is silly.

Yamato wonders if Sougo knows how nice his hands are, if he’s aware of how thin and dainty they look. The way he holds each marshmallow between those pretty, slender fingers and places them into his mug with this unneeded but so fitting delicacy is such a sight for some reason, and leaves him hoping he’ll be able to capture that softness, feel and weigh that gentleness in his own hand.

“Um, say when?”

Yamato’s mind goes blank, it takes him a second to collect himself, but he can't even make out what was said to him until he looks down.

Sougo has literally been placing these marshmallows in nonstop, to the point where there’s no room in the mug anymore, and he’s just carefully stacking them atop one another, actually waiting until Yamato tells him: _Thanks, that’ll do_.

He can tell that he’s messing around, and that this is just a subtle attempt at being funny. He could find it in him to laugh and play along, but that wouldn’t nearly be as enjoyable as getting to watch him flop and fumble through this poor execution of a joke.

No, he’s not that mean.

Okay, maybe a little.

Yamato watches him quietly, doesn't say a word when Sougo movements go slow and hesitant as he stares back at him, waits for him to tell him that this is more than enough.

“Keep ‘em coming.” He actually says, and it’s at this point Sougo must know he’s making a fool out of himself, because when Yamato tries to stifle a snicker, he finally ceases.

“Why don’t you just help yourself to the entire bag?”

 

“You mean to say you haven’t emptied it in my mug yet? Ah, don’t mind if I do.”

He doesn't even dignify it with a response, but his frown says the teasing is most definitely not appreciated. Sougo moves to sit back down and tend to his drink; gaze cast aside so he doesn’t have to see the bit of glee in the other’s current grin. An _Only kidding_ slips past Yamato’s lips before he even has the chance to think it over, luckily, it comes out coolly enough to hide away the concern he felt for those two seconds he watched his face fall.

Yamato never thought he’d find himself second-guessing his words like this, but here he is, praying his mouth doesn't go too far because seeing Sougo upset in the slightest is far more stressful than it ever, ever should be. He knows it’s the result of being aware of how much he likes him, and it’s obvious to want to just see him happy, or at least, not be the source of his discontent.

All this hesitation and excitement is familiar and so annoying. Maybe, the sooner he confesses the quicker he’ll escape that god awful phase of heart flutters, weak knees, sweaty palms, loving and longing stares, and embarrassing dreams.

If he could just, avoid all that it’d be much appreciated. But he knows, unless he gets his feelings out, it’ll catch and consume him when he least expects it. Like some unforgivingly sappy and horrid disease.

Crushes are just so troublesome.

And quite frankly, Yamato is too old for the nonsense that usually comes with them.

He’ll tell him.

“This is how you’re spending your day off, just drinking hot chocolate in the middle of the afternoon?” He says, because he has to, because restarting the flow of conversation is much better than sitting in silence and letting such an awkward mood settle in.

“I had a craving.” Sougo admits, Yamato smiles.

“Still odd.”

“It’ll always be tastier than beer.” He counters, and has a point.

“I’ll give you that.”

Yamato helps himself to the many bits of marshmallow floating in his drink, puts a few in his mouth and chews. The sweet taste counters the strong, bitter one left on his tongue, and he isn’t sure if he’s ready for the actual hot chocolate to do the same.

His eyes lock with Sougo’s for an amount of time he can’t even measure it happened that fast. He wishes he could trust his own rationale right now, and say for sure that their gazes just met and it’s that reason alone why Sougo turns away like he’s trying not to give way the faint spread of pink across his cheeks.

There’s no point in doing so, because Yamato’s already noticed--or imagined it. Either way, he can’t fend off the embarrassing feeling that creeps up and wants to seep out in a tense and breathy chuckle.

It’s already started.

“...Movie.” Sougo mumbles.

“Uh?”

“Movie.” He repeats, speaks up. “I rented a few movies to watch today.”

“Oh, decided to stay home all day while everyone’s out?”

“Mhm.”

He honestly isn't sure what just happened, how this air suddenly became as uncomfortable as it is but Yamato wants to believe it isn’t his fault. He’s been thinking a lot, but not enough to effect such a simple conversation. It’s got to be from Sougo’s end, this is his doing.

“Do you… Do you have any plans for today?” 

Yamato leans back in his chair at the question, shakes his head.

“You’re welcome to watch these movies with me, then.”

The idea makes him smile for more reasons he can count. “What’s on the lineup?”

“You know the one where the teenagers go on a haunted yacht for their summer vacation?”

“The horror movie?”

“Psychological thriller.” He corrects, Yamato waves it off.

“Sou, I heard it was like, super cheesy. The ratings were terrible.”

“Really? The man at the store was pretty eager to get me to rent it… I even got parts two and three.”

“Aw, jeez.” He sighs, but it really shouldn’t come as a surprise. Yamato had already witnessed Sougo’s gullibility a number of times. This is nothing new, but the thought of having to sit through a few hours of mediocrity when he could be spending his time with the remaining five chilled cans of beer in the fridge is making him reconsider his decision to watch movies with Sougo.

He doesn’t mean that, he totally doesn’t mean that.

At this point, it’s becoming more and more apparent to him that he’d even watch paint dry with Sougo because it’d mean he would be _next_ to him.

And that’s kind of sad.

It’s also surreal, to feel himself falling deeper and deeper into this crush with every sudden thought, to know that there will be a point where he won’t have a way to get a proper hold of himself and he’ll just blurt everything out weirdly and hurriedly like he’d been holding it in from the beginning.

 

He is holding everything in right now, but-

“You don’t have to watch them with me.”

“I never said I didn’t want to watch ‘em anymore-”

“I can tell that you don’t.”

“Is that so, you psychic or something?”

“Yamato.”

“I’ll watch them with you.” He says. “I want to.” There’s something really earnest in those words, and he’s going to choose to ignore that for the sake of not realizing how embarrassing he sounds.

And because he’s practically insisting, Sougo yields. 

“Alright.”

Sougo sips his hot chocolate again, but not before he shapes his mouth into a small ‘O’ and blows on it gently. There’s something really enthralling about that, and Yamato’s captivated. Nothing right now can grasp his attention more than those lips--pink and petite--and the way they press together for a moment, then part to be wet by a tongue that slips out long enough for them to glisten--just a little, until they touch ceramic once more, so Sougo can enjoy another sip of his chocolate drink.

This is actually pretty offensive.

He’s caught staring, and can’t do anything but to glance away like he wasn't doing just that.

“Something the matter?” Sougo asks, because he can't go along with that act.

“Ah, nothing. I was just… You gonna drink all of that?” And it’s such a lame question, one Yamato doesn't really care about the answer for, but it’s much better to look like he was concerned for his choice in portion size than literally anything else.

“Yes…? Why wouldn’t I?”

“Seems like a lot.”

“I can handle it, Yamato...”

“Mmh.”

He’s quiet again, they both are. This discomfort, this odd vibe is so dense and evident Yamato wishes it were tangible so he could physically remove it from the table. This is his fault, he’d been concentrating too much on _not_ being obvious about his feelings, he killed the lighthearted mood between them.

It’s probably what he needs, though. Maybe this is a sign telling Yamato he’s totally stalling, because a functioning adult would have confessed their feelings from the start instead of milking some conversation over hot drinks until it gets plain and redundant.

Maybe, he should just go for it.

“Hey, Sou-”

“Are you okay?”

“Huh? I’m fine.”

“You’ve been kind of off…”

“I know.”

“You know?”

“Yeah, and it’s your fault.”

He sets his drink down, appalled.

“Me? I didn’t-”

“I like you, Sou.”

He could say he expected a response like this, because it’s such a natural one--who wouldn't have seen it coming? What with his shocked face and all, but he really didn't.

Yamato realizes he can be pretty idealistic at times, and in some ways, that in itself can be a bit troublesome. He won’t admit it’s bad though, because that would mean confessing so suddenly was a terrible idea, and he’s not going to knock down something he’s been building up the courage to do for this long.

He’s not going to tell himself all that reasoning was pointless.

So he can only hope Sougo can act accordingly, and not have him regret this.

Or maybe that’s too much to ask.

God, his cheeks kind of have this faint but still noticeable blush on them, and his brows are raised like he’s gorgeously puzzled and still can’t make out what was just said to him.

It’s pretty funny.

Yamato would laugh if he didn’t put himself in such a tender position. 

“Like, as in…?” It comes out softly, he’s afraid to ask.

“If whatever you’re thinking is causing you to make that face, then you probably have the right idea.”

“So, it’s like that…”

“Exactly like that,” He confirms, “Maybe even more than that.”

Sougo makes an incoherent sound, and his blush is an even prettier shade of red. Seeing him this flustered makes Yamato feel less vulnerable, and more at ease knowing he isn’t the only one embarrassed by this, as twisted as it is. 

“Really?”

“Pretty certain.”

Sougo collects himself this time, sits up straight and exhales before he finally gives a dignified response.

“I’m flattered.” It’s all he says, Yamato even delays his own reply in anticipation for more, but doesn’t get it. 

And that’s enough to get him to laugh a bit.

Sougo can be funny, even if it isn't his intent to be, there’s just something about him.

Or rather, it isn’t Sougo that’s funny, it’s the fact Yamato’s found himself so into him that’s funny. That it came to him as a surprise but when he thinks about it, it really shouldn’t be.

Yamato doesn’t have any expectations in regards to what happens after this. Sure, the best possible outcome would be great, but if anything, getting this off his chest was priority, and since it’s been done, just sipping their hot chocolate like any of this didn't happen at all will be fine with him.

Not really, but he’ll tell himself that because it sounds mature.

He’s being stared at again--it’s with an expectant look, and this time Sougo doesn’t care if he’s caught.

“Uh?”

“You’re not mocking me, are you?”

“What-”

“You’re making fun of me.”

And there’s so many ways he could respond to this, because there’s so many things wrong with what he just asked. Right now, Yamato is torn between wondering how Sougo could even think he’d go so far as to use a fake confession to get a rise out of him, or if he genuinely doubts he could be attracted to him because _really_.

“That’s cruel, Sou. I wouldn’t do that, it’s in poor taste.”

He gets another hard stare before Sougo looks away and holds his arm, embarrassed.

“Sorry.”

“You don’t believe me, though.” Yamato says, because that felt more dismissive than accepting, and it’s a habit Sougo has that stings in a way that’s more irritating than it is hurtful. Of course, he’s a little offended his words were taken as a joke to pester rather than truth, but Sougo’s feelings are involved too, and he has a right to question everything to protect them.

“I do, really.” He says back--even nods to look reassuring, but Yamato won’t have it.

“What was wrong with it?”

“Huh?”

“What I said, what sounded weird about it to make you think that?”

“Nothing.”

“...”

“...”

Yamato leans forward onto the table, sets his hot chocolate aside to get a good look at him.

“ _I_ like you.”

“Um-”

“I _like_ you.”

“Yamato-”

“I like _you_.”

“Stop that.”

And he does. 

He really should stop messing around.

“It wasn’t the way you said it,” He starts in a breath, “it was how you said it: so casually it was kind of hard to take seriously at first.” He looks so bashful when he admits this, but it’s the way he tries really hard not to be that makes him so charming right now.

“‘Casually’, as opposed to…?” It’s the only word that sticks out. _Casually,_ as if there was any other way to tell him. 

It seems Sougo didn't understand himself until he said it. He flushes, shakes his head, and it’s exactly right at that moment it clicks for Yamato too.

“... _Oh._ ”

“Don't even-”

“No, I get it.”

“I really don't think you do-”

“You’re into the theatrics, aren't you? Ah Sou, never would have guess you were the hopeless romantic type, did you expect a love confession? A proposal, even-”

“Not at all, Yamato--I didn't expect anything!” Sougo exhales aggravation with an evident frown. “You’re being awful mean to someone you claim to like so much.”

“It’s just teasing.”

“It’s unnecessary.”

“I can’t help it, it’s like second nature when I’m around you, you bring this out of me. And besides, shouldn’t this prove I like you? This could be considered a type of affection, you know.”

“For seven-year-olds, maybe.” It comes out in a mumble, and Yamato swears this guy is a lot more mouthy than he lets on. Still, he has to commend him for putting up with this silly front forced out by his own burning nerves and a lingering fear of rejection, just so they can have a conversation.

“Sorry about that.” He says it clearly, seriously, and Sougo takes good note of that because his own expression softens.

He opts to stare at his mug now, and Yamato isn't sure what he’s thinking, isn't sure what to say.

So he watches him, because he’s said all there is for him to say and Sougo’s the one who has to solidify this moment with his last words, if he even has any.

He probably doesn't, or he probably has the words to say, but doesn't know how to say them. 

Perhaps Yamato is being too sudden, or expecting too much from him no matter how many times he tells himself he isn't.

He’s starting to think that no matter how old one is, things like this will always be difficult, awkward, and a bit stressful. He’s certain he didn’t just ruin a relationship, but is pretty sure this is going to make things weird for a few days.

“Are you going to ask me if I like you back?”

Or maybe not.

“Wasn't sure if it was right of me to put you in that kind of position.”

“I see… But what if I want to be in that kind of position?”

The only reason he’s pleasantly surprised by this question is that he knows Sougo can be unpredictable at times--it’s what he likes about him. 

He feels young again, like really young. 

To think he could seriously try to prevent his own heart from beating so fast at the sound of him, to think he wouldn't almost cheer aloud at the idea of his feelings being returned. Pretty ridiculous, this was inevitable from the start.

He feels so warm and dopey, nearly forgets he should say something.

“Ah, Sou. Do you… Like me back?” It’s so obvious he’s anything but relaxed right now, but that won't stop him from clearing his throat to sound like he is.

Sougo smiles; it’s small and warm and soft and sweet and he’s just so _bashful_ right now Yamato can't help but to adore him, can’t help but to produce a smile of his own.

“I do.”

He practically whispers it, but Yamato hears it loud and clear in his own mind, where it’s 10 times more amplified.

.

 

.

 

.

The agreement they made earlier to watch movies together makes for the perfect first date. This is a date, this is definitely something he can interpret as a date. The simplicity of it all, along with the inevitable casual intimacy he gets from just sitting next to him, all alone with no one else around. 

The movie is just as terrible as Yamato thought. Cliché plot, predictable jump scares, cheap props, and overall bad acting is enough to get him to cringe, but the thing is actually so bad it’s _good_ and he’ll be damned if they don’t finish the entire series in one go. 

One would think in the early stages of a new relationship, modesty is practically above everything, but the chance of there being any at all flies out the window the second Yamato slips an arm around Sougo’s shoulder in complete nonchalance.

The best thing about this, is that Sougo doesn't tense up or pull away. He embraces it--even shifts into a lying position to rest his head on his chest.

And there’s something about that, the way he becomes so relaxed and comfortable in mere moments that makes him practically giddy, it’s such a nice feeling.

“Someone’s eager.” Sougo says like he didn't just accept it wholly, like he’s not listening to how fast his heart is beating to prove how excited and anxious he really is.

“It felt right.” Is all he says.

Sougo seems pleased to hear that.

“I’ll let you get away with it, so long as you don't do it again in front of the others.”

“In front of the others?” He repeats, “So, this is like, a secret relationship, then?”

“That’s not how I want to see this, I just think it’d be best if we kept it appropriate around company.”

He snorts.

“Not in front of the kids, is all I’m asking.”

“You make it sound like we’re parents.”

“Just trying to be responsible.”

“Wouldn't expect any less.”

He hums in response to that, and settles in more before he scoops the remote off his lap, and turns up the volume on the television.

Yamato gets the chance to think about how pleasing this is, about how much and how long Sougo has liked him to be this accepting of affection so suddenly. There aren't any complaints, if anything he really _is_ eager. He knows that with the jobs they have, moments like these will be rare, and what with Sougo’s tendency to be reserved Yamato’s daring moves done in the spur of the moment won’t go as smoothly as it did just now.

“Hey, Sou?”

“Mmh?”

“Just a question, but what are the chances of me getting a kiss at the end of this?”

“Hm, zero.”

“Thought so.”

“You seem to move fast.”

“It was just a question, I wasn't going to try anything.” He reminds him with a sheepish look. “Though, I’m glad to know I have something to look forward to.”

He can tell Sougo's smiling without having to look at him; it’s a playful one.

“That’s awful cute of you.”

“Please,” He says with a soft scoff, a little embarrassed he can still be called that.

“I don’t kiss until the third date.”

“Oh? So old-fashioned.”

“You think so? I thought that was generally accepted in dating.”

“You mean like rules?”

“Sort of? The first date is too sudden for a kiss, the second is too risky, so the third is just right. It sort of sets the foundation for a good relationship--kind of like a good luck seal.”

“This sounds like something written for one of those magazines aimed at teenaged girls.”

“...”

“Sou…”

“It was an outdated issue, but I really thought it had some merit-”

“When did you even have time to read it?”

“I didn’t read all of it… I just skimmed through it while I was waiting in line for the DVDs.”

Yamato laughs, can tell Sougo’s embarrassed through it and gives him a gentle rub on his arm.

“It’s not that bad.”

“If you think it’s childish-”

“I don’t. If you want to wait, it’s no big deal.”

And he means that. He has no problem with letting Sougo set the pace, no matter what’s influencing him. Considering this is the start of something new, they’ll have plenty of time for experiences they can share and treasure together. Just because he was excited to hold him and be close, doesn't mean he can't take things slow.

There’s something warm and soft at his cheek for a few good seconds before it leaves with a feeling that lingers.

Sougo whispers a _thank you_ in the most gentle manner Yamato has ever heard, and if there’s anything that can have him hold his breath like he wants to savor a moment it’s the sound of his voice. It’s how close he sounds, the idea of how much closer they can be.

The things Sougo can do that can fill him with adoration so fast, it makes him a little dizzy.

He starts to wonder, just how enamored he’d have to be before he can definitely call it love.

Yamato’s _really_ looking forward to that third date.

**Author's Note:**

> btw sougo never finished his hot chocolate, 2sweet
> 
> also i planned to end this with a Good Smooch on the lips but I changed my mind and figured i could write another fic centered solely around kisses?? i unno
> 
> i hope this was ok im still getting a feel for these guys 
> 
> thank u for reading tho!


End file.
